I am your fate...

so i'm sitting here and i wanna write something, but i can't.... i can't think of anything all that good to say. It seems every time I go back to school, I find out something else about somebody else that agitates me. Like today, I found out something slightly disturbing about one of my friends (not disturbing in a nasty or gross way, just disturbing in that it upset me). Its one of those things that's just not done... -le sigh- i kind of got blew up when i first heard this... my initial reaction was that is was a lie, but i asked my friend about it at lunch today. I gave her a look and she didn't say whether or not the accusations were accurate, but I'm sure she would have denied such claims if it weren't true right? It kind of made me mad, but more than anything it just really bugged me. I'm not actually angry, just... upset i guess... i dunno. its complicated. why? why does everything have to be so stinking complicated all the freaking time?! all the drama drives me absolutely crazy! why can't we all just be sensible people? oh right....

and now i'm listening to my parents discuss the idiocies of the middle school football coach... oi.

i actually got sick to my stomach that i was so angry at lunch today i got sick to my stomach, so intensely that I felt like I was about to throw up. that was kind of scary. by the end of the day i had a heachache because i was thinking too hard about everything again. All my friends... my boyfriend... my parents... my demonic little brother... my education... church... it's all so very difficult to keep a balance of things.

Speaking of church... i give up. The youth band will do just fine without me... i'm not saying i'm quitting but i'm taking a break, exploring other churches... that won't be hard since like every one of my friends go to different churches... who knows, i may just find that i belong better at some other church... come to think of it, I'm doing just what John Wannamaker, the previous guitarist did... hm..... that's a thought provoking notion.

My story's just like yours, only one chapter behind...

Well anyways... I don't really know what the title of this post was about... i thought it was cool and it reminded me of Twilight and Edward Cullen. (Hence the background) :] but yeah... i guess that's it for now... peace.