I've thought about it so much it's made me sick.
I want it so badly I'm feeling queasy.
I want so much to make ammends with him
that would be willing to tell him something that's not true.
But he's blocking my emails and I don't have his number.
Tell me will anything be the same ever again.
And I don't even know how I feel.
I like him that way, but I want so much not to...
but then would it really be so bad if we ever got together?
I want so much to tell him... he says he's not mad but I know he still is...
I want to tell him I love him even though I really don't
platonically, yes, spiritually probably, brotherly possibley, but romantically no.
It kills me to know I hurt him.
He's my friend, no matter how much we fight... but then is he my friend?
What does he feel? How can i tell? Will I ever know?
All of it started over something stupid anyways... maybe he hates me now...
Who knows? Who is to say? God please just take the worry and the pain away...
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